Apparently, I'm alive. It's a strange revelation that periodically flashes through my mind, more often lately. I don't really feel alive though. Nay, much more an apparition do I feel ... one moving from one room to another, one hour to the next, with only the incessant noise from the essential contraption connecting the moments. Right now, I'm just waiting ... waiting for me to finish studying the current chapter, for licensing to come up, for that stupid hospital to get back to me about how they didn't think I'd be an appropriate hire three weeks ago. I don't know how much life can really be breathed into the tenuous spaces left in between those crags. I've had many misconceptions in the past. But I sincerely hope that after this final period of waiting (final for the current phase, please spare me the bullshit platitudes of waiting being a continuous function of life, seriously go fuck yourself if you were even tempted to fucking tell me something that trite and cliché ... fuck you [god why am i so mad right now]).
Anyway, here I am, in as much peace as I can be in given the circumstances. I sit on the beach's shore with my arms wrapped around my knees. The waves grow steadily and impact me with greater force and greater heights. I stare into the distance and wait with bated breath for these waxing waves to peak and pass.
Um... I probably didn't express properly what I had initially intended to but... that's ok.
No comments:
Post a Comment